Sabotage

I have been my own saboteur.

This past weekend, which started on Friday for me, found me eating anything I wanted. Granted, the portions were small because most of my stomach is gone and it's not stretched out, but I ate things like three bites of pancakes with butter and SF syrup. A slice of french toast, butter and SF syrup. Frozen yogurt. With fruit.

Like that.

I did this intentionally, with forethought, because I was 1. super stressed and 2. not wanting to lose anymore weight.

My weight is up 3 pounds today. No surprise. Actually, it made me feel happy.

Of course, there has been fallout, most of it involving the back exit of the body. *ahem* Along with gurgling, pressure, and gas.

I'm back to regular DS eating today because honestly? I'm tired of the foods I was eating. I'm craving protein so that should tell me something.

For breakfast today I had three slices of thick cut bacon, and three almond thumbprint cookies with dried blueberries from All Day I Dream of Food (low carb and high protein).

Lunch will probably be deviled eggs, and dinner I have chicken defrosting for my husband and I.

I really don't want to lose any more weight, but I need to eat like a DS-er for my health. My body is going to continue to drop weight whether I like it or not. Having a dysfunctional relationship with food is not good for my mind or body. Right now? Right now I'm sorry I had this surgery. Maintaining my new body is a lot of work. It's pissing me off, but everything is pissing me off lately. (Stress much, Jules?) I'll keep taking care of it, but I reserve the right to bitch at will.

&^%$#@!