Having a Shit Day

Really really shitty.

Yesterday was going fine until *bam*, blindsided by a problem. (This is my WLS blog, I don't detail most aspects of my personal life here. It's my blog, deal.)

But I didn't have a bowel movement yesterday. I don't call that tiny amount that came up after I got out of bed a bowel movement. And my tummy / hernia (TH) was aching all day. I knew I needed to poop, but I couldn't.

I had been strictly eating protein since Tuesday so things should not have been going wrong like this.

By last night, my TH was so bloated, so painful, I was putting my cold hands on it to ease the pain. Then I tried a remedy that has always worked in the past, usually within an hour:  An apple, Pink Lady, with peanut butter.

Nothing.

More bloat, more pain.

A couple hours passed. Still nothing. By now it's after midnight and I'm so uncomfortable--not quite into pain, maybe a little bit--that I got up and ate some Jalapeno Popper dip that I'd made a few days ago. I figured the cream cheese might help grease things up, as it were. Ahem.

Nothing.

So I made coffee. With HWC, hoping that might also give me some lube.

Nothing.

I went back to bed. And cradled a ,by now, very pregnant-looking, bloated, and now painful belly with my cold hands. It was around 3:30 AM. My husband was awake--he'd had a bad day, too, and kept waking up.

I don't know how, but I finally fell asleep. I prayed for a giant crap in the morning.

I got up at 9 am, pooped a bit, back to bed.

At noon, I got up again, pooped a bit again.

I AM STILL BLOATED, GASSY, AND CRAMPY, and my belly is huge. And the scale is up nearly 4 pounds!!!!!!!!

I AM ANGRY. I AM VERY, VERY ANGRY.

I want to punch something.
I want to throw something.
I want to get in the car and drive to another state, check into a motel, and watch bad TV with a box of donuts (maybe that will make me crap).
I want to go back to bed and sleep.
I want to alter my consciousness, but I'm not allowed alcohol. I could use a shot, several, in fact.
I want my therapist. I just saw him yesterday. He's dealing with a death in his family so he's having a back week, too.
I am overwhelmed by shittiness in my life, and a lack of shitting by my body.

I just ate a tablespoon of Kerry Gold butter....on a knife. (It's SO good.)

I'm praying for poop.

So what am I doing? Right now I'm just crying, drinking coffee (with HWC), and being pissed.

Right now, I am a crazy person.

http://youtu.be/RfuaoqGdHQU

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Update:  2/20/15 2:21 PM

At last!!  I finally went poo. OMG, it was epic. I sat there so long my right leg went to sleep. After, I got on the scale...down two pounds. Uh, yeah. And I know I'll be going again shortly. The butter worked. :D Halle-fucking-lujah.