Then we went to see American Sniper. A great film that gives you lots to think about. My suspension of disbelief was firmly in place and Bradley Cooper was Chris Kyle. Awesome performance.
But as we were standing in line to give our tickets to the tickettaker, I noticed something. Fat people. A lot of them. I mean, aside from most of the kids, all the adults were fat. And I don't mean chubby, I mean A LOT fat. One poor guy I saw I was wondering where he was going to sit, I know he wouldn't fit in a seat. I barely did at 350 lbs and he was at least 100 or more pounds beyond that.
So in noticing all the fat people I realized two things:
- Americans, as a whole, are fat;
- I no longer think of myself as fat.
Huh.
Would I have noticed all those fat people a year ago? The big guy for sure, because I really can relate to his predicament--wanting to see a movie, wondering where he'd sit.
I'm the same gal who went back to college in her 40s and would get to class early, sometimes an hour early, so I could find a desk or chair that I could fit into. Yeah, that was me. I got stuck in a desk in a counseling session full of people pre-semester, and it left a nasty bruise on my belly and then there was the shame. I don't know if anyone noticed I was stuck; I looked down and just walked away. But the memory haunts me to this day.
I both pity and understand fat people. I spent 30 years as a fat person in different sizes. It sucked in a lot of ways. I want to hand out my surgeon's card and tell people like the big man, "You don't have to live like this." But then I stop and think about how my journey to surgery took me to ten years.
I have lots more thoughts about this, but Starbucks is closing and unless I fancy spending the night here, we've got to leg it. Besides...I have SF chocolate pudding and a good book waiting for me. Kitties, too. ;-P
It's sad but true. I am not a heavy person anymore; I lost 50 pounds about 30 years ago and have kept if off, except for the odd 10 pounds I keep gaining and losing. Due to a distorted body image, I still see myself as fat--until I go to the airport. I feel like such a tiny person! People actually seek me out to sit next to me because I don't take up extra room in my seat. It makes me sad to see our country in such a condition. I know it's a hard thing, but I worked really, really hard to make sure my kids didn't see food as comfort, learned to love moving their body however they want, and to make healthy choices. It has paid off--both work out regularly, are back to eating well after some crazy teen years, and are slim and healthy. We KNOW what causes obesity, but we are a nation of people who see food as a panacea to what ails us: pain, boredom, lack of connection. It kills me to see fat little kids, because I know what lies ahead. Eating out should be a treat, not a way of life. Oh, it's a multiheaded monster. I know it's not easy--I watch every calorie I consume--but I'm so happy to be healthy! I, too, feel compassion and pity, and I know the hard path. But I also know it's so worth it...
ReplyDeleteAnd congrats on your new body image!! I wish I was as successful at believing what I see in the mirror...
ReplyDeleteObesity is such a complex, complicated disease affecting both mind and body...I blame technology (sedentary work), HFCS, fast food, designer food, processed food, commercials, and marketing. We're fatter than we've ever been in this country and those ^ are all the things that have changed in the last 60 years. I don't believe in blaming the individual, they/we already feel bad enough; the question is what we, as a society, do about it. I'm hoping the movement towards organic, non-gmo, and farm-to-table movements keep growing. I'm totally on board. When it benefits corporations to sell these things in large quantities, when we demand them, when we buy them...things will change. But right now, those of us struggling with obesity and its attendant issues, both physical and mental, all we can do is the best we can.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for cutting obesity off at the pass before it became more than 50, more than 100, more even than that, and passing on those good habits to your children. *applause* It's hard. It's really, really hard. Even with WLS it's hard. One day, one hour, one moment at a time.
Hugs