No 'Puter, No Internet

Not only do I not have regular Net access, now I've. Lost the cord yo my laptop...uckfay...I'll. Be back when I can. Weight is down 2 lbs. (Pecking this out one fingered on my Kindle. Groan.)

Lately

July 20, 2014 10:57pm

I’ve spent a couple of hours putting my handwritten food and drink notebook into an Excel spreadsheet. I need Internet access to look up the protein grams, fat, and carbs, but once I make my way through three weeks of food and liquid notes, I should be able to determine the nutrition info from repeat foods without having to look them up. I eat a lot of meat, eggs, cheese, nuts, and iced coffees. No surprise there. I did, however, notice a trend with my liquids: I’m not getting in enough. I’m averaging 60 ounces of liquid a day. Although this is not BAD, it’s too low. I need to be closer to 100 ounces of liquid per day. If I hadn’t started charting my meals, I wouldn’t have noticed this trend, and I wouldn’t be able to make a change. This is why writing down your food is SO important, and what I started doing on July 4 after I went up 4 surprising pounds.

This past week my husband had some job-related stuff to do out in a desert town and he called me up and said, “You know, it’s only another 180 miles from there to Vegas…” I bit that lure and packed some new (smaller) clothes that I had yet to wear, and headed over to my in-laws place Tuesday night. He had two appointments, one at 10 a and one at 2pm, so he felt he needed to drive out to the city, get a hotel, get some sleep, and then pop over to the first interview rather than get up real early to drive out there and run the risk of bad traffic, an accident, a Sig alert, or any number of things that can happen on Southern California freeways. We fed and snuggled our cats and hit the road.

He went to both appointments, we had lunch, then headed out to Vegas arriving about 8pm. I had gotten us a great deal at the Luxor for $39- a night. Of course, there was a $45- resort fee for the two nights in total on top of that, but it was still a great deal on a nice hotel in Vegas. We were on the sixth story facing west, overlooking the two pools (that I never got to swim in *pout*).

So here’s something that perturbed me about our lovely hotel room, flat screen TV with all the good news channels I like, soft sheets, and beautiful bathroom:  No refrigerator, no coffeemaker. I like a little wake-up coffee bracer before I have any “real coffee” while I’m getting ready to go out. WTF? Even Motel 6 offers both of those things. (I'm guessing that the resorts want to herd customers to the casino floor. Sort of like the free WiFi in every room [part of the "resort fee"], that only worked on the casino floor. *ahem*)  I wanted to put my Vitamin Waters in to chill, but no such luck. Also, even though it was 112 in the daytime and 97 degrees Fahrenheit at midnight, the pool closes at 8 o’clock in the evening. WTF? I don’t get it. I would have been in that pool every night.

Also? In Vegas? You cannot get a decent meal after 10 o’clock. WTH? When did Vegas turn into a family-oriented, daytime-focused town? Granted, the last time I was there was in 2004…it’s not my favorite place, not even close, but an opportunity to stay in a nice hotel was too good to pass up. So we got gussied up, I put on my new size 2x blouse and white capris, my sparkly wedge flip-flops, a buttload of makeup, and we went out looking for food. We walked through the Luxor, Excaliber, the MGM Grand, and part of New York New York, then the train to Mandalay Bay and then back over to the Luxor and every restaurant we encountered that was not fast food…was closed. Unbelievable. We started at 8:30 pm and didn’t get back to our room until after 1 am. We ate at a “deli” near our room (walking for five hours with no results). A chicken salad sandwich for me, coleslaw, a grilled chicken pesto sandwich and a small drink for my husband was $30-. Un. Be. Lievable. Vegas used to be the town of all-night restaurants and cheap, cheap food. No longer.

The next day, my husband took our car to see if it would pass a smog check (it’s registered in Nevada), and dropped me off at Walgreens. I purchased some beautiful gold nail polish with pink glitter in it. I painted my nails later in the car and they looked beautiful. It’s a lovely nail polish. I left it at my in-laws or I’d tell you the brand.

While we were out, we had brunch at Coco’s. I had a slice of quiche, two bites of spinach salad with almonds, and gave the rest to R. For dinner, we went to the Hooters resort and had chicken wings. I love me some chicken wings. I had five. J Sooo good. We then went back to the room, got dressed up (well, I did), and decided to do some exploring and a plan to ride the monorail down the strip. We walked about four hours that night. The monorail trip was fun. We got off and walked about a mile to Ceasar’s Palace, which BTW, is NOT near the monorail station, and then my “energy—OFF” button clicked over. My husband wanted to walk the mile back to our hotel, and I told him there was no way I could do it. He walked back—his choice: he used to be a marathoner before ankle injuries sidelined him—and got the car and came and got me. Still…I had walked the mile or so from the monorail station, through the Flamingo Hotel, out the door, up the stairs, over the pedestrian bridge, and then into Caeser’s Palace hotel because we couldn’t find the entrance to the resort, and then all over the hotel before my energy gave out. We’d been walking for about four hours. Not bad for a formerly fat chick. *wink*

We argued a lot while we were there—my husband was just being annoying—I can’t detail it, it’s not fair to him, but some of the crap he was pulling was just…incredible. Honestly, I’ve yet to meet a man with any common sense, I swear to Buddha. UGH!

At any rate, we got back to Orange County around midnight after a long truck stop diner meal before getting back on the road (steak for me!), so I spent the night at my in-laws before coming over to my mom’s. My point, and I’m getting to it, is that I’m down five pounds to 253. My lowest weight in decades. 

I had some Alouette garlic and artichoke cheese spread along with some nuts on Tuesday night, and it did give me ferocious squirts about three times. No more of that. *huff*

It’s so strange to me to see pictures of myself or look at my body in the mirror—it’s like someone stole my body while I was asleep and replaced it with a similar, smaller version.

I got into this to be healthy and put diabetes in remission—well, I feel GREAT and I’m off all diabetes medications—the weight loss I knew would be a “nice” side effect, but it really is weird. I can’t believe how motivated I am to eat and drink right to watch that scale continue to go down. OK, confession, yesterday my mother and I split a piece of Denny’s cheesecake with whipped cream. I liked the whipped cream more than the cheesecake. Now this splurge was planned about two weeks in advance, and it wasn’t as good as I had remembered it, so I’m in no big hurry to have another slice.

But…I do have some SF hard cinnamon candies that are good; several different flavors of almonds and some BBQ macadamia nuts (nuts are nearly all fat! Squee!); and Outshine makes some 40 calorie berry and lime popsicles that I have 3 or 4 times a week or the SF 40 calorie fudgesicles, and those items make it easy for me to keep my mouth and body happy simultaneously.

I’m really enjoying the hell out of this journey. Mostly. LOL

Latest Pic

This photo is significant because the new capris I'm wearing are four sizes, six?, below what I've been wearing. I haven't worn this size since I was in my early 20s. Win!!

I bought the size I "thought" I would wear, but I had to take them back for an even smaller size. I really didn't think they would fit...but they did. In fact, I had to get a belt to help with a gap in the back. LOL  *happy*

Dear Jules,

I know why you did what you did, and there's no shame in it. Just pick yourself up and dust yourself off. You did great for nearly four months--not so much as a Tic Tac went into your mouth. You're human. Imperfect. It happens.

I know...your stomach was wide open and accepted nearly anything you put in there the last week or so--to a point. Fourth of July BBQ pork ribs, BBQ brisket, and perhaps 8 or 9 sweet potato fries dipped in BBQ sauce and Ranch dressing Then, after someone ate your leftover pork and brisket that YOU left in the fridge, your husband ran out to Del Taco and got you a fish taco--breaded--and in a corn tortilla. With tomato salsa.

Then there was the cheesecake, including the graham cracker crust, last week. The toast. The banana nut muffin. Every day something new.

I know, trust me, I know. Your stomach and missing gallbladder, incredibly, will let you eat anything with no recriminations except a full tummy and a touch of constipation.

And FOUR added pounds. Ahem.

Uh, yeah.

I just want to remind you that you are a DSer, you can't eat everything you want and expect there to be no consequences. In case you, you know, forgot or something. Let me remind you of all the reasons you're on the wrong path:

1. The ten years you waited to get the surgery in the first place;
2. The post-surgery pain and the belly wound that is still not all-the-way closed;
3. The money you borrowed to pay the surgeon's program fees;
4. The diarrea;
5. The head hunger you fought with during weeks 4 and 5 post-surgery...and won;
6. The pants that are two sizes smaller than what you used to wear;
7. The insulin and syringes that you were able to throw away one month after surgery. 
8. You no longer need HPB (high blood pressure) medication. In fact, it made you dizzy!
9. How easy it is to stand and walk for long periods of time.

NOW do you remember?

You're a DS patient. You need to go back to writing everything down and skipping the carbs, yes, all the carbs (except mashed potatoes with gravy. For whatever reason that doesn't cause weight gain or constipation.). You need to track that shit, not assume. I know you were feeling so good that you got out of the habit; you thought you knew what you were ingesting. Well, I'm telling you, YOU DON'T KNOW. Write it down. Look up the carbs, protein, and calories later. Just write down what you put in your mouth so you don't forget, do the numbers before bed.

Jules, darling, you've been so very good getting all your vitamins in without missing. You've missed less than a handful of times since January (to prepare for surgery); you can do the same thing with tracking your food.

Be a good girl, Jules...take good care of yourself. You're worth it.

Now go sign up for that gym you visited yesterday.

Love,

ME

(Photo taken shortly after writing this post.)

Anger / Gratitude

Written July 1 around midnight:

Anger:

I'm up four pounds after losing eight last week. WTF?

I'm fed up eating the same shit over and over.

My mom is annoying me.

Husband too.

Backs of my legs hurt--an old problem that occurred, I thought, from sitting too much. I was out for hours yesterday and Sunday, walking and standing. The pain kept me up.

I feel fat, lumbering, whale-like. My belly wound had almost closed but the bottom popped back open after lifting my suitcase onto the bed. A lot of fluid is coming out of there. I should've bought stock in Stayfree maxi pads. *sigh*

No weight is coming off my belly.

I'm on my Kindle at McDonald's so typos are allowed.

I'm very unhappy. I am overwhelmed by a lack of inertia.

I need time alone. A lot of time.

I'm miserable.

***
Grateful that / for... 

• My health (returning). 
• That I'm American. 
• I have a place to sleep at night, to shower, read, watch TV, to do laundry. 
• That I can help my mom when she needs it most. 
• Cooler weather. 
• My Kitty children. 
• A running car. Omg how many beaters have I driven over the years, never sure if they would start? 
• Sunscreen. 
• Vitamins. 
• This Kindle. 
• Pay as you go crappy Android phones. 
• Good books. 
• The ability to read AND write. 
• Clean water. 
• Target. 
• Grocery stores. 
• Hawaiian barbecues. 
• Iced coffee. 
• Me.

Taken June 28 in Huntington Beach. Wearing the capris I bought in 2007 and which never fit until now...they still had the tags on them!! And are kind of big, now.  And holding one of my ubiquitous iced coffees :-)