LilySlim - Weight loss

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Weight Around

So I'm vacillating between 185 and 186 for the last week or so. Probably because my primary meals have been oatmeal (with 1/4 stick of butter) and yogurt. Seriously, even cheese hurts to chew with my dentures. Forget lettuce or meat or anything else. Even eggs require more work/pain than I'm willing to commit to. That means I'm ok with my weight staying where it is. It's ok. This is a difficult time right now in terms of my health, in particular my mouth, so this falls under the aegis of "I'm doing the best that I can." And I'm good with that.

It's going to take time to get my gums used to wearing the dentures. My mom said that she remembers when her mother, my gramma, got her dentures at around age 30 (shitty teeth. Bad roll of the gentic dice that got passed on to me. My Dutch grandfather, however, died with every tooth in his mouth and not so much as a filling. Yup.), and she remembers her putting in and taking out the dentures as she got used to them.

I go in today to have the stitches out and I'm hoping to get a little bit more pain relief in the form of something stronger than Norco. Actually, Ibuprofen seems to be handling it pretty well. Whatever was going on with the dry socket syndrome (Dr. Google says this is what my problem was/is.) seems to have resolved, although not 100%. And I hope this doesn't mean more work on the part of the dentist and myself. UGH. I'm ready for it to just be over.

Once my mouth is back on track, I'll be back on my high protein DS diet. Right now? I'm just doing the best I can, taking it day by day.

Don't get me wrong:  I'd love nothing more than a big fat steak with bleu cheese on top of it. Oh my goodness. Just waiting for that day.


One last thing:

The little amount I've been eating still has created ENORMOUS amounts of bowel waste. How is that possible?? A tub of yogurt, some oatmeal, a piece of quiche, two bites (gums?) of a shredded beef quesadilla, and just, wow, without being too graphic, there was A LOT of waste exiting my body. I don't get it. The oatmeal? Regardless, I'm going to go see what I've got stashed away in the freezer. I think there might be some Italian sausages in there. I can manage those (with my gums).

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Some Random Pictures

New Teeth. They look quite nice, actually. 
But my mouth is still very, very painful and sore.

Seal Beach pier. I like Seal Beach better than Huntington Beach. It's slower paced, friendly, and less commercialized than it's bigger sister to the south. 
I almost lost my flip-flop over the side here. R had to grab it for me. LOL
And this was what I was doing when I got a text from my aunt on the east coast asking if I were ok and how close was the fire to my place. Uh, yeah. 

Not only did I walk the length of the pier, we walked from the beginning of 
downtown and back. A year ago this would have been unthinkable for me.

 Looking at the Port of Los Angeles, Long Beach, San Pedro, and Palos Verdes.

That big white puff over that white SUV is the Cajon Pass Fire as seen from
 the 405 Freeway near Huntington Beach. It's 71 miles as the crow flies, so you know it was BIG.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Dental Work Fallout

The pain was much, much, much worse than I anticipated. To top it all off, the pain meds, Norco, didn't even make a teeny little scratch in the pain. I took one before I left the dental office at 6pm because the novocaine was wearing off. By 7 o'clock, the pain was even worse. and I took another one. No relief. I just started weeping. It wasn't just an aching pain, it was a very sharp, icepick-to-the-roof-of-my-mouth pain. I'd had two Norco in two hours and was still in extreme pain. On a scale of 1-10, I would say a 9.

Then I remembered that I still had some liquid Vicodin left over from my DS surgery. I found it right away in my nightstand. There wasn't much in there. I took a tablespoon and sat back down on the couch and waited. Within 15 minutes the pain started ebbing and within the hour it was down from a 9 to about a 4, more like a punch in the face than an ice pick. *exhale*  And I had the new dentures in my mouth to keep the swelling down. I was spitting blood and I woke up with blood on my face and my pillowcase.

I woke up about 3 am to use the bathroom, then suddenly remembered where my phone charger was (my old purse--I changed to a different purse), and plugged it in. I'd been using R's, but he needed it more as he was driving to the coast to start his longshoreman job. (He texted about 5pm and said he was beat. I'm guessing he'll stay over. I don't know if there are more ships this week or not.)

So here's a sorta bad/dark photo of the teeth:

I'll get some better pics in the days to come.

Today I woke up about 10:30 am, and I was really hungry. I got up, went into the kitchen, made coffee, got the eggs out to make scrambled eggs, and I felt like I was going to faint. I went back into my office, fired up the laptop, and put my head down for a bit. I still felt dizzy and things looked "snowy." I went back to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee, and thought I was going to faint both there and then over to the bathroom. I sat on the toilet with my head on my knees for a while. It did not abate. Back to the office, head on desk, drank some coffee. I figured if it was hypoglycemia, the carbs in the HWC in the coffee would help. But I wasn't feeling better. It could also be low blood pressure. I decided to come into the bedroom and lie down for a while. I woke up two hours later. I made the eggs with butter and grated cheese. I had problems with the cheese--too tough, but I ate the whole plate, and then went back to sleep until 4:30pm. I guess I needed it. I was pretty useless most of today.

The pain was much diminished, however, and I didn't need any pain meds until much later. I tried crushing up a Norco and having it with water. I think the pills are not in my GI tract long enough to get absorbed, hence the lack of pain relief. Malabsorption is a major component of the DS, and they were not getting absorbed. Crushing them helped quite a bit. It wasn't fabulous pain management, but it was better than the previous nothing I had been getting.

I rented a couple of movies to keep me entertained while I sat around and healed, Black or White with Kevin Costner. It was an interesting-enough family drama, but I would not say it was deep nor did it resonate in any kind of thoughtful way. It was a good try, but I've seen better films that addressed race in a much better way. Still, it helped keep my mind off my mouth. That was this afternoon.

Then I made some cream of chicken soup. I made it with half water half milk, lemon pepper on top, some salt, and parmesean. It really hit the spot. Then I watced Woman in Gold with Helen Mirren. It was about the repatriation of stolen art by the Nazi's in WWII from Jewish families. In this case, it was Gustav Klimt's famous "Portrait of Adele Block-Bauer," the aunt of the protagonist. Based on a true story, it was very good, excellent even.

For tomorrow I have Imitation Game. I rented it on a whim. It didn't interest me that much, but since I'm on a WWII kick, why not? Could be very good. It did get an Oscar nomination.

So that's where I am now. The pain is down, I took the dentures out--that was a little scary--the doctor said to keep them in all night last night to keep the swelling down, but after that to take them out at night to give the gums a chance to rest. I still have to brush my remaining teeth and get a soft brush with some denture cleaner/paste to clean the dentures. And be careful not to break them. Evidently they are breakable. Thuper.

And lastly? I'm down three more pounds. Yesterday was a very good food day. Protein Jell-O saved my butt and tasted good. I had it with whipped cream from the can.

I'm in bed, tired, but I did want to update regarding the toofies.


Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Carb Detox No. 19

Well, how did it go yesterday? My first day carb de-toxing after my "carb vacation"?

It was rough.

I had one piece of Archer Farm's (Target) raspberry coffee cake left, and I gobbled it down as soon as I got up and had made coffee. It was fabulous. But here's the thing about carbs:  The more you eat carbs, the more you crave them. As soon as I ate it, I wanted more. I mean, a lot more. I could've eaten a whole new pan of raspberry coffee cake. My first thought was "Must have more." And I realized there was no more and it would be a 25 mile roundtrip to get more. Then it hit me:  OMG, carbs creates the desire for more carbs. More, more, more, and more. I knew this, but to have it smack me in the face like that was shocking.

I ate a lot of protein yesterday. I probably could've eaten more. In fact, I skipped dinner. I had a big lunch. (Potato chips with sour cream ranch dip.)

I also found half of a Symphony chocolate bar in the fridge. I ate that.

I was cranky a good part of the day because I wanted carbs and couldn't have them. Well, I could, I was choosing not to have them (or dress and drive to get any).

Finally, near bedtime, I went into the kitchen wanting something. I spotted my husband's cinnamon toast crunch cereal. This is a cereal I've never liked as I find it overly sweet. I had a bowl with half-n-half.

Took all my supplements and went to sleep after reading for a bit.

Today? Down two more pounds. Ha!

Also? Cramps. My period is coming. That might explain the depression and anger of last week. Today I'm just anxious (my normal state).  Also, I never really had cramps with my period. I wish it would just fucking stop. I'm looking for a new OB/GYN right now. I still haven't received the medical records I paid for and ordered 34 days ago from old, dingleberry GYN. WTF?  I can't go to her (even if I wanted to) because she's not in my Medi-Cal book. Hallelujah.

So I just ate a big piece of cheese and spinach quiche that I made yesterday, and 1/4 of beef smoked sausage with deli mustard. I'm full. I need to make the protein Jell-O before I leave today so I have something soft to eat post-extractions.

Carb detox Day II, I think will go a little more smoothly. From my lips to G*d's ears.

D-Day: Dentist Day

Today is the day. If you've been following along, I've been getting extensive dental work since April. My final appointment is today. Extractions, pick up bridge and dentures. I've got antibiotics, valium, and pain meds. I may be down for a few days (I have zero pain tolerance). Wish me luck. Appointment at  later today.

Fortunately, I have therapy first.

This is over (I hope for a long, long time.)

Monday, July 20, 2015


It’s on cable every year, I’m sure you’ve heard of it. In my case, last week was “carb week" and like "shark week" in that I ate everything that moved. LOL

I went on a carb holiday. I figured…my body went up 15 pounds all by itself, might as well enjoy myself for a while. And I did. Coffee cake, fruit (peaches oh my), chocolate, macaroni and cheese, pizza (with crust), muffins (homemade with Splenda, but white flour and blueberries), chips and dip, nachos (OK, those I eat a lot, with or without chips) and on like that.

So my weight went from 174 to 185 for no apparent reason.

One week of carb-loading saw me go to 190.

Yesterday my carbs were reduced, although not eliminated (coffee cake, chocolate) my protein increased, and today I’m down two pounds to 188. Go figure.

The carb cravings are there and they are strong. I’m loading protein so I’ll stay full. Tomorrow I’m having multiple extractions at the dentist in preparation for dentures, which I’ll also pick up tomorrow. I am prepared to go on all soft foods:  shakes, eggs, protein Jell-O, yogurt. I imagine it will be a few days until I feel ready to actually eat solid food. Maybe longer. So the timing is also good in terms of a carb detox.

Also? I maintained vitamins and supplements, and liquid requirements.

So how do I feel about going “off the reservation?”  No shame, a teensy amount of guilt, but mostly I feel pretty good. I really enjoyed myself. Were there side effects? Of course. A TON of gas, the shits, bloating, gas, and so on, but I anticipated it, and was prepared to handle what was necessary. In a word, I had a lot of fun. It was like a vacation. Now I have to get back to real life. No regrets. Previously, it might have been months or even years before I got back "on track."

So I made myself a list of flip cards, 3x5 cards on a spiral that I used when I gave discussions or presentations in college, and put all the things I needed to remember regarding having the DS. And they are:

·         Diabetes
·         Diarrhea
·         Lane Bryant
·         Airplane Seats
·         Back Pain
·         Standing

·         Eat every two hours
o   Nuts
o   Cheese
o   Protein / meat
o   Walk
o   Read
o   Write
o   Clean aka housework
o   Movie
o   Reinstall MyFitnessPal on phone (it had crashed some months ago and I had to take it off)
o   Use it!


Meal I
·         Eggs
·         Cheese
·         Meat

  Every two hours:
·         Nuts
·         Cheese
·         Eggs
·         Meat


·         Deli Plate, i.e., meat, cheese, pickle, cole slaw, kimchi…

·         Taco Bowl

And lastly:


Words to live by.

I'm going to keep the booklet in my purse and flip through it as I 
go through my day as reminders of what to do.

PS:  Did you see the video of the surfer fight off a shark during a surfing competition? Brave and lucky! Just wow!

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Comments Are Working

Somehow one of the settings got changed to "only people with accounts" (of what?), so I changed it back to anyone, and I even tested it, and it seems to be working. So comment away! Do your worst. Or best. Whatever. Comments are working!


New Glasses, Pair 2



As I expected, they are too dark even with my recently darkened haircolor. BUT. They were less than $40-, and I wanted a backup pair and one that looked more "professional" for job interviews. I don't know if they meet this criteria; however, they are very nice and I like them. Nothing unexpected.

And last one, with my clip on shades I purchased for my first pair, 
the cat's eye glasses. I'm having a lot of fun with them.

Also, a well-meaning...person on Facebook told me I should "immediately take down" the first two pictures that I also shared on FB as they were "unflattering." This was via IM. Really? Did that have to be brought up? This is how I look now--wrinkly, droopy, and haggard, in part from the iron deficiency anemia. Never mind all the other health shit I got going on (and my husband is at Social Services right now trying to get our Medi-Cal straightened out. Long story, but for now, it's unusable. So I wait to see doctors.) My feelings are hurt even tho that was not the intention. But still, sometimes it's better just to shut the hell up. Keep your mouth closed, especially as something as imutable as appearance. FWIW, I told the person, "Honestly, I just don't care. But thanks for your concern."  You'd think Iran had been caught with nukes. *sigh*  In the scheme of things, my appearance just doesn't matter. Not really. 

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Eating While Angry

I've been hyper-focused on food for the last few days, you know, after I gained 12 and then 15 pounds after making only one poor choice for a week. It's inexplicable. My pants are tight so they are real pounds. It's not that time of the month, so not water, but it's infuriating me.

So I'm pissed about it, and in reaction, I want to stuff all kinds of inappropriate foods into my mouth. I'm hyper-aware of blueberries right now--muffins, cakes, scones--I want them all. Fortunately we live out in the boonies and I don't have quick access to any of that stuff. I do have all the fixings to do my own baking, including frozen blueberries in the freezer, but I was feeling too lazy last night to make anything.

Do you ever eat angry? Fuck you body, here's some poison, a nice, big, fat blueberry muffin with streusal topping. Oh, and add some unsalted cold butter to the inside. Nom nom nom.

I just ate half of a bacon, spinach, mushroom, four-cheese omelette, two bites of the greasiest hash browns I've ever had, and an English muffin with strawberry jam and butter. It was fantastic.

I'm also helping some carbs will help things move along in my bowels. I've been very backed up all week, even though I have gone every day, I feel extra stuffed if you know what I'm saying. I feel like I need to get everything out of there. I know a donut usually works in about 20 minutes, but there are no donut stores nearby. So the English muffin.

I'm just pissed off at a lot of things right now, and gaining weight, a lot of weight, for no apparent reason, is only one of the things pissing me off.

I sure do want a buttered blueberry muffin, tho. Maybe I'll have one just to get it out of my system, literally and figuratively.

Also, new glasses arrived. They look darling, but my vision isn't much approved. So that pisses me off, too. Sigh. Also want apple pie. A la mode. Fuck.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Breakfast Biscuits: An Update

I just made a revised batch, and this is what I did:

  • 1/2 almond flour, 1/2 Trader Joe's almond meal (My DH was in SoCal yesterday and picked some up for me)
  • No almond or lemon extract; replace with 1 tsp vanilla
  • 1 tsp powdered ginger
  • 1/2 tsp cinnamon

The result? OMG, a tender, slightly spicy, delicious way to start the day. This will be made again and again.

If you just got here, this is the ORIGINAL RECIPE.

I do not use jam or the icing--both are just more work and they taste great to me without either.


Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Changed My Hair

I wanted something dark to go with my new cat eye glasses (and which shipped today! SQUEE!). I had a coupon for Clairol "Age Defy" (whatever the fuck that means LOL) Medium's dark. I LOVE it. Here's an artsy kinda' photo I took to text to my aunt who couldn't see the color clearly on Facebook. I was trying to get my bangs, but it turned into this really cool pic. Take a look.

I scrolled through some old posts to see if I'd posted a picture of my glasses,  ($70-) and evidently I did not. So here they are. And on Sunday I ordered a second pair for less than $40-. from Zenni also. Heh. 

And these. They are darker than I wanted, but for the price -- $6.95 for the frames -- it's a great deal. When I have more money, I'll get another pair, and still pay less than what I would have paid out of pocket with insurance for one pair. And oh yeah, the cat eye's come with a pair of clip on sunglasses for $4.95. Chingamos.

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

And Back Down Again...

Five pounds in one day. A day that saw me eat a cereal bowl-sized bowl of barbecue potato chips, with Ranch dip; two fish tacos from Del Taco (and SO good); and a handful of corn chips in addition to my eggs, ground beef, and cheese breakfast (plus the first wake-up protein cookie snack with coffee).

So...whatever, body. What. Ever. You are weird.

I'm really hating this hernia. I look pregnant and I get the weirdest looks from people. And it's uncomfortable. Sometimes when I use the bathroom I feel like my gut is going to explode. (That's not a thing, is it? I hope not.)

I'm going to bed shortly--why not--but I'm craving protein. I'm thinking ground beef quesadilla with sour cream and lots of hot sauce. Yeah.

Monday, July 6, 2015


My weight is up 11 pounds. ELEVEN pounds. Not elven, eleven.

I have not fundamentally changed my diet.

I had some pizza last week, and I've been snacking on cherries (like maybe...six or seven a day). That DOES NOT equal eleven pounds.

My pants are tight. I don't know what's going on.

I'll just keep doing what I'm doing and see what happens.

In the meantime, I just found out I'm approved for Medi-Cal...Medicaid in other states. I pick up the cards today. I can go to the doctor and get that GD iron infusion. I'm pooped. Hooray.

Saturday, July 4, 2015

Breakfast Almond Biscuits--an update

I had been making them with Trader Joe's almond meal--similar to almond flour, but with the skins ground up in the meal.

Yesterday, I got some "real" almond flour from a bulk bin at a big food wholesaler. This morning I made a tray of breakfast biscuits--I keep forgetting to mention that I also add a tablespoon of whole flax seed to every batch. Good for you and a very nice crunch. Although they look like bugs just lying on the counter by themselves. *ahem*

So I made them this morning with the almond flour. Same recipe, using lemon extract, dried strawberries from the bin, a splash of cinnamon and. baked them up and....bleh. As tasteless as sand. Yuck. Well, I bought two pounds of it, so I need to use it, but it is going to need help. I'm thinking vanilla extract, lots and lots of vanilla extract (leave out the lemon), and maybe a cream cheese drizzle. They really did not taste good.

So I think I'm going back to the Trader Joe's almond meal, and which is about $2- a pound cheaper anyway. The only problem is that the closest Trader Joe's is over 40 miles away. I'd stop there on my way home from visiting relatives periodically and stock up on almond meal, coffee, and other stuff that I like to get from TJs or that our local stores don't carry. No more trips to OC lately or in the forseeable future.

I'll report back after my next batch in about three days.


Happy Fourth!!

Thursday, July 2, 2015


The last few weeks have found me noticing, I mean really noticing my food choices. I'm noticing them because I am more conscious of the food choices I make, and I make the right choice more often and for the right reason.

"Oh look, blueberry scones. I love those. Yeah, but remember what happened last time you ate one? Uh huh. You can make these low or no carb at home, and they'll taste just as good if not better and be good for you. Just get the coffee."

And I move on, sconeless.

I had some donuts from a donut store during a super bad day a couple weeks ago. They didn't taste as good as I remember. In fact, they were kind of yucky. It's going to be a long, long time before I have a donut again. I'll reach for something else first if I need sweet--like chocolate. A little bit of that is fine, no repercussions or weight gain. Bam! Bob's you're uncle.

I think, after fifteen months, I might be trained to make good choices. I now have to with forethought and planning make bad choices. It's so much easier to just eat the stuff that is good for me and that I crave. I could eat a steak with bleu cheese every day. I'm serious. Cheese? Was always a favorite snack and is even more so now. Sharp cheddar. Oh yeah. Mama likes cheese. :-)

It's nice to be in this place, this less crazy, obsessive, unhealthy place. And the monthly carb cravings haven't reared their ugly heads in the last two months. I like that.

As far as eating, food, choices, and my body weight, I'm in a good place. I'm happy to be here. I hate all the loose skin, but I'd trade it all again to get rid of that fucker diabetes. Loose skin is gross, diabetes is deadly. Good trade.


Well, I didn't make it to the beach yesterday although we were in the "beach cities." We stopped at Starbucks for a respite, I was reading a good book (A Wilder Rose), and R was on his laptop. When I looked up it was 6:30 pm and way too cool to go to the beach with the clothes (i.e., swimsuit and sundress) I had brought with me. We had dinner while we waited for traffic to die down, then made our way home about 8:30. It was nice to get out of the house. Hopefully I'll have other opportunities for beachgoing in the future.

R went by social services today to give them a copy of his final paycheck, so they said we should hear something about our insurance options on Tuesday. *fingerscrossed*  Dear G*d, please let it be better than the shit HMO we had. Pleeeease.