Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Anger / Gratitude

Written July 1 around midnight:

Anger:

I'm up four pounds after losing eight last week. WTF?

I'm fed up eating the same shit over and over.

My mom is annoying me.

Husband too.

Backs of my legs hurt--an old problem that occurred, I thought, from sitting too much. I was out for hours yesterday and Sunday, walking and standing. The pain kept me up.

I feel fat, lumbering, whale-like. My belly wound had almost closed but the bottom popped back open after lifting my suitcase onto the bed. A lot of fluid is coming out of there. I should've bought stock in Stayfree maxi pads. *sigh*

No weight is coming off my belly.

I'm on my Kindle at McDonald's so typos are allowed.

I'm very unhappy. I am overwhelmed by a lack of inertia.

I need time alone. A lot of time.

I'm miserable.

***
Grateful that / for... 


  • My health (returning). 
  • That I'm American. 
  • I have a place to sleep at night, to shower, read, watch TV, to do laundry. 
  • That I can help my mom when she needs it most. 
  • Cooler weather. 
  • My Kitty children. 
  • A running car. Omg how many beaters have I driven over the years, never sure if they would start? 
  • Sunscreen. 
  • Vitamins. 
  • This Kindle. 
  • Pay as you go crappy Android phones. 
  • Good books. 
  • The ability to read AND write. 
  • Clean water. 
  • Target. 
  • Grocery stores. 
  • Hawaiian barbecues. 
  • Iced coffee. 
  • Me.
Taken June 28 in Huntington Beach. Wearing the capris I bought in 2007 and which never fit until now...they still had the tags on them!! And are kind of big, now.  And holding one of my ubiquitous iced coffees :-)


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