Sunday, July 6, 2014

Dear Jules,

I know why you did what you did, and there's no shame in it. Just pick yourself up and dust yourself off. You did great for nearly four months--not so much as a Tic Tac went into your mouth. You're human. Imperfect. It happens.

I know...your stomach was wide open and accepted nearly anything you put in there the last week or so--to a point. Fourth of July BBQ pork ribs, BBQ brisket, and perhaps 8 or 9 sweet potato fries dipped in BBQ sauce and Ranch dressing Then, after someone ate your leftover pork and brisket that YOU left in the fridge, your husband ran out to Del Taco and got you a fish taco--breaded--and in a corn tortilla. With tomato salsa.

Then there was the cheesecake, including the graham cracker crust, last week. The toast. The banana nut muffin. Every day something new.

I know, trust me, I know. Your stomach and missing gallbladder, incredibly, will let you eat anything with no recriminations except a full tummy and a touch of constipation.

And FOUR added pounds. Ahem.

Uh, yeah.

I just want to remind you that you are a DSer, you can't eat everything you want and expect there to be no consequences. In case you, you know, forgot or something. Let me remind you of all the reasons you're on the wrong path:

  1. The ten years you waited to get the surgery in the first place;
  2. The post-surgery pain and the belly wound that is still not all-the-way closed;
  3. The money you borrowed to pay the surgeon's program fees;
  4. The diarrea;
  5. The head hunger you fought with during weeks 4 and 5 post-surgery...and won;
  6. The pants that are two sizes smaller than what you used to wear;
  7. The insulin and syringes that you were able to throw away one month after surgery. 
  8. You no longer need HPB (high blood pressure) medication. In fact, it made you dizzy!
  9. How easy it is to stand and walk for long periods of time.

NOW do you remember?

You're a DS patient. You need to go back to writing everything down and skipping the carbs, yes, all the carbs (except mashed potatoes with gravy. For whatever reason that doesn't cause weight gain or constipation.). You need to track that shit, not assume. I know you were feeling so good that you got out of the habit; you thought you knew what you were ingesting. Well, I'm telling you, YOU DON'T KNOW. Write it down. Look up the carbs, protein, and calories later. Just write down what you put in your mouth so you don't forget, do the numbers before bed.

Jules, darling, you've been so very good getting all your vitamins in without missing. You've missed less than a handful of times since January (to prepare for surgery); you can do the same thing with tracking your food.

Be a good girl, Jules...take good care of yourself. You're worth it.

Now go sign up for that gym you visited yesterday.

Love,

ME













(Photo taken shortly after writing this post.)

2 comments:

  1. Be kind to yourself. All best to you as you move forward on your journey...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you, DQ. I am trying my very best. :-)

    SJ

    ReplyDelete