So I ate carbs. A lot of carbs. Not compared to what I ate as an obese person, but definitely more than I would as a post-op DS person. The fallout hasn't been too bad in terms of GI distress and weight gain. It's manageable. Of course it means a carb detox, but...whatever. It is what it is.
YOu know, I had this WLS in order to be healthier. It was never about appearances for me. Sometimes I questioned if I really believed that or if I were simply fooling myself. The answer is sort-of two-fold: Yes, I did do it primarily to be healthy. Sometimes I miss my big heavy body, like when I'm trying to open a heavy door or pick up a heavy box, I no longer have the ability. I feel vulnerable in public especially from strange men who make it a point to see if I'm wearing a wedding ring. I put on a cheap CZ eternity ring I have today as a sort of "magic underwear" to keep the wolves at bay.
At 5'10" and "big boned" (really), at 300+ pounds, I was imposing. Very few people messed with me. That I miss.
That said, putting on a size 16 jeans, or a seat-belt, or crossing my legs, not wondering if I'll fit into a restaurant booth, all of that? I like it. I do. So when my favorite jeans felt a little tight a few days ago, I panicked a bit.I don't want to go back. I don't want to be that obese person that people think it's okay to belittle and laugh at in public. The one who can't get up off the sofa that's four inches from the floor without help; the diabetic.
So it is about being comfortable, about being healthy, about not standing out in a crowd. Just being a regular person.
The hernia makes it hard for me to look normal, right now, but that will be fixed hopefully over the summer.
My face? It's another matter. The wrinkles came on fast. I feel like I look like a crone. Like this:
I look more likes this un-re-touched cell phone selfie. But I feel like ^ especially when I first get up without moisturizer or teeth (a whole other blog. Sigh.). This is how I feel.