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Tuesday, November 10, 2015

What Fresh New Hell is This?

I started my period yesterday.


I had the diagnostic D&C with hysteroscopy on October 15, which was just a few days before my regularly scheduled period on the 20th, so after getting scraped out, I didn't have one. So here it is, yesterday, just November 9th, and I'm menstruating? And it's a BAD one. I wonder if I should call the gyn? Of course, I'll leave a message and no one will ever call me back so...what the hell. It's a bad period.

Come on, body. You're really screwing up here. Most women would have started menopause by now. I'm too old to have a baby if you're busy prepping for one every month uterus *ahem*, as much as I would love to have one, it's just not a good idea. That's what nieces are for. And you know, also there's the little matter of access to sperm, which ain't happening *ahem*, but really? It's just time for this to be over. It's been forty years. Forty fucking years of this crap every month. Don't you think it's time to cash it in??

Your purpose here is done. Vamoose, buh bye, adios, dasvodanya, nobody likes you, hit the road! Seriously; sod off!

I mean it.

No cramps. No back pain. No nothing, just blood. Lots and lots of chunky blood. Oy vey es mere.

For sale: One uterus, used but in good working condition. All serious offers considered.

I can't talk more, I need to go change my tampon and napkin so I don't bleed all over my clean sheets, comforter, and favorite jammies.



  1. A D&C doesn't stop periods. The "bad one" is probably a lot of residual tissue and gunk caused by the procedure itself. I've had 2 D&Cs done once for a miscarriage and once for an ectopic and had extreme periods for a couple of months.

  2. A word of SERIOUS caution. DS can turn a previously infertile woman into a fertile Myrtle and it doesn't matter your age. Before my DS, I lost 2 pregnancies. After my DS, I went on to lose 4 more at various stages of my weight loss.
    10 years after my DS, after tens of thousands of dollars on fertility treatments, drugs, diets, and all the rest, I finally accepted the "1 in 400,000 chance of carrying to term" diagnosis, down from 1 in 750,000 before the DS. I accepted that I would be the coolest aunt and godmother to ever walk this earth.
    Matthew will be 5 next month. And I'm not the oldest DS post op to become pregnant by a long shot. I had a cousin who conceived naturally at the age of 56, no WLS. So just be extremely careful.

    1. I'm not having sex. Hard to get preggers without it. :-) Seriously? If I thought I was healthy enough to carry a baby to term at 53, I would. But I know I'm not and it's not fair to any child. (My husband and I split up around labor day, he moved out I guess you missed that part. And our sex life had petered out *ahem* well before that). And I have no interest in dating, especially since the separation is still fresh.

      My periods were bad before the D&C, this is nothing new, I'm just tired of it already. Ya know?



  3. Sorry to hear, don't recall reading that.

    One doesn't need to be dating to get knocked up. I read just the other day about a 50something who thought she'd started menopause because her periods stopped and she was gaining weight. Then one night she had "the worst gas pains of my life" and went to the hospital...

    Of course talk to your gyn or a nursing line. They can advise you. I do and don't want it, personally but I'm in a different place. I don't want more hormonal changes, I'm still trying to deal with things that never went back in place after Matty was born. God knows what hell awaits me in the next phase. But also, I remember when MY mother went into menopause and how much the kids at school teased me for having such an old mother - and she was a year younger than I was at Matty's birth when they got me. I hate thinking kids might give Matty grief for having a old mom.

    1. I meant "dating" in a strict sense of the word ;)

  4. Yeah, I don't want to do any "dating" either. I just don't need any emotional residue that would result from that, and my separation is very fresh. I've got a lot going on and I just don't need to get laid that badly (although yes, everyone from the bag boy to doctors look good); I just don't need the angst. Maybe next year, I don't know.