I Was Starting to Panic

Wednesday I weighed myself, and I was the same weight I'd been at my last doctor's appointment last month. Over three weeks ago. WTF?!!

I've been sticking to the high-protein diet, a 48g shake in the am (with all my vitamins ground up in it--multi, biotin, calcium), made with water--I use MRM brand. I get it at the big healthfood store here in the OC. I buy the Whey Isolate in chocolate.

I've been having cheese, soup, or canned chicken salad with mayo for a meal, bu the other day I had the inside of a Del Taco beef and cheese burrito. I met R there. Bad idea.

The gas--the gas that didn't want to come out it's indicated doorway but instead wanted to stay in my abdomen and blow me up like a balloon causing cramps and pain and gurgling. I tossed and turned for hours, with only a few brief "outbursts" to relieve the pain. Thank g*d my mom's bedroom has a door and the TV is in there (constantly tuned to HGTV).

I got about about 4 am and was able to go to the bathroom (BM), went back to bed and finally slept. When I got up again, I went no. 2 again--a lot, I might add. Then that evening, I had a third high-powered bowel movement and felt so much better. OMG. No more Del Taco for me, even just the meat and cheese. This morning I got up, weighed, and I'd lost six pounds. The expression "full of shit" was quite literal in my case. Whew. So back to just regular, boring non-fast-food foods. Wowza. I was starting to think I was one of those people who had fucked up their surgery (my stomach is stretched; my bowels are lengthening; did I really have the surgery? As If I could forget OMG). Just panicking.

My clothes are loose, including a couple of new things, but I still can't get into the new underwear. Of course, I don't know where it is anyway...I still haven't found my makeup. It's probably a melted blob in the bottom of the van. *sigh*

So my latest thing is iced coffee. I LURVE iced coffee made with half-and-half. I had my organic Stevia to it, maybe a dash of dry cinnamon, and I'm good. So far I've had one every day I've been in SoCal. LOL The ones at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf are better than Starbucks. They even have no-sugar-added chocolate syrup for a mocha iced coffee. Very nice. And plenty of fat. Lactose doesn't bother me. I seem to have a bent toward constipation rather than diarrhea. So the less carbs I eat, the less constipation. Sometimes it doesn't matter: I'm just clogged up like a bad drain.

But I FEEEL GREAT. I feel energetic, powerful, free. I can get up off a curb or my mom's lowrider couch much easier than in the past, and I can pop out of a chair and walk for days. Have I started walking? No. Mostly because my mom doesn't like to be alone and I don't like to leave her alone. She fell when I was out doing errands on Monday. Over a cat. To open a window that didn't need opening. I chewed her butt for that because I told her to "stay down while I'm gone, except to go to the bathroom."

Like me after surgery, she's made the assumption that because she was discharged and at home that she is WELL. She is not and neither was I. It's a slow process, healing completely. I'm slowly putting her life back together all while trying to take care of myself. I hope I can be out of there by the end of the month but a lot depends on $$ and her ability to take care of herself. *fingerscrossed*