So Far, So Good

After doing some more reading, I've determined that I'm a middle-of-the-road loser, neither fast nor slow, but somewhere in between.

I'm down two more pounds since my last post for a highest weight loss of 85 lbs and surgery day loss of 47 lbs.

If this stays true to the pattern, I'll gain back 2 - 4 pounds for a few days, then drop down 2 - 4 + extra pounds.

Yesterday to eat I had a 48 g protein shake for breakfast (with my multi, calcim, and biotin ground up in it--it's just water); three ham lunchmeat rollups with about a tablespoon of cream cheese in each one; and for dinner, a egg salad with mayo and a little mustard (from two eggs).  And iced coffee--made at home! Yummy and easy. And two Vitamin Water Zeroes at 20 ounces each. So around 80 ounces of liquid. I can get away with less here because the weather is cooler and I'm not sweating as much. Well, at all, really. In the Central Valley I was consuming between 4 and 5 20-ounce Vitamin Waters plus two protein shakes a day for about 120 ounces of water a day, and I could probably have drank more.

Yesterday I was Jonesing for a bag of crunchy Cheetohs so badly...I was at times angry and then feeling like I needed to cry. And not a single-serving bag either; the big bag, the party size. But I had not one. I figured I'd have orange-dust diarrhea. Pass. But I really wanted them. My mom sent R and I out to the store (well, he came over to pick up the rest of the cat food and litter and take some stuff out of the van for storage), and I bought some wasabi / soy snacking almonds. I used to eat a pack of those a day in college during my first run up to weight loss surgery when I had to lose 10% of my body weight (and I did--in fact, more than 10%). So I had six of those and I felt less miserable about the Cheetohs.

My mom likes cookies. If she offers me one more cookie, one more sandwich, or one more bowl of sherbet, I may punch her in the face. What jury would convict me? LOL  Seriously, she needs to just stop offering me food, but she literally can't remember. "I can't have that."  "Why not?" "Carbohydrates." "Oh."

*fume*

I'm wearing a blouse today that I've owned for about three years. It said it was my size but wasn't, so it sat in the closet. This is my first time wearing it and....now it's too big. It'll go on eBay I guess, but it's really cute. Navy blue with white birds sitting on a wire all over it. It would look cute with a jeans skirt. It has elastic at the bottom--who thought that was a good idea for plus-sized women? It's NOT, ok?--I would cut that off and hem it and wear it as a regular blouse if I decide to keep it. It's a great beach blouse. A beach I haven't been to once, yet. My mom won't go. *sigh*

So my resolved is re-steeled when I see those pounds drop away. This time is going to be the time of my maximum loss and I need to take advantage of this and not squander it. I have all the time in the world to eat desserts or carbs, but now ain't it. I'm thinking Christmas I'll have a couple of cookies and a slice of pumpkin pie, a small slice with lots of whipped cream, so it's in my repertoire, just down the road. Delayed gratification. That I can do.

I'm really proud of myself for doing such a hard thing--sometimes I have to take it minute by minute, like yesterday and the Cheetoh obsession, but it can be done. Take heart those who are struggling with their own food addictions/obsessions: It can be done.

Maybe I'll have that tattooed on my forehead. LOL