I'm Tired, Hungry, and Pissed

 Yesterday I was even more pissed. I'm going to show you some pictures, they're extremely gross, so if you don't want to see them, don't scroll down. The amount of fluid coming out of my tummy is astonishing. It smells SO BAD. Like a cross between human feces, sewer, dirty sock, and the bottom of a dumpster. It makes me gag. I'm on my third sanitary napkin of the day on my bellybutton, and I got up at 3 pm (I haven't had a good nights sleep in a week or so until last night). I woke up to a soaked maxi pad, a soaked microfiber dishtowel, a soaked nightgown, a soaked sheet, a soaked mattress pad, and R just stripped the bed and said there's a big stain on my side the size of a watermelon. I went and looked, and sure enough. I thought the waterproof mattress pad was on the bed. I guess not. F*ck. That bed is only 7 years old. None of my other beds got this beat up, WTH?

Here's a picture of the nightgown I had on last night after I took it off after I got up. It's a white broadcloth cotton summer nightgown with blue ribbons woven through the hem and the neckline. It's a girly nightgown that I've had for about 10 years. It's great in summer (which although it's only April 9thf, it's been in the 90s the last two days. Bugger.)

 

I sent a pic of my belly wound to my surgeon yesterday, and the nurse called to have me come in on Thursday. He thought it looked fine, but if I was that concerned about it, he would look at it.  When R got home, his brains slid out his ears and he freaked out panicking that I shouldn't drive myself 200 miles. I probably shouldn't, but if I need to get to the doc, what am I to do? So I told him to get off my back and call the doctor himself. So he did.

We're heading down to SoCal on Friday afternoon as it's Spring Break for R next week and he wants to see his dad and I want to see my mom (who is going home from the SNF tomorrow, with a cast on her left arm).

So R got hold of the doctor who said he would see us Friday night, 10 or 11 pm, he didn't care, just call him and he'd meet us at the office.  !!!  Wow, now that's what I call excellent, over and above, patient care. Dayum. That $3,000 was SO worth it.

In the meantime, I'm like a leaking garbage truck. Leaking, leaking, leaking. And in the gross photo I'm about to post, you can see it pooling up--the drainage--at the bottom of my belly button. The top section is the part that popped open. I heard one on Monday, and on Tuesday I was sitting in a chair looking at it when the top one popped and the would split open.

I don't know what that white shit is in the middle, but it's been slowly sloughing off in the shower. Some kind of surgical material I think.

So tell me, does this look all right to you? It doesnt to me. It looks damn scary to me.

 

So here's my bitching for today:

Bitch:  House is dirty. R is a lousy housekeeper (but teachers have a lot of after school work, too. I get it, but really? You can't pick a napkin up off the floor?)

Bitch:  Nothing tastes good. 

Bitch:  I'm SO tired. I'm upping my protein to see if that helps. I had an Unjury strawberry sorbet protein shake yesterday with lots of ice, like a Slurpee. Tasted like ass. I gagged about half of it down. The rest tasted like fermented milk.

Bitch:  I'm hungry, yet nothing tastes good.

Bitch. My skin looks terrible. I'm going to be floppy. F*ck.

Bitch. I smell. I wonder if others can smell me.

Bright spot:  No diarrhea today. Whoopee.

Bitch:  Almost daily insomnia.

Yeah, I'm miserable, cranky, and I want everyone to know it.   People should not get in my way right now.

This post would have been even pissier if I'd written it yesterday. Glad I held off.