LilySlim - Weight loss

Friday, May 22, 2015

Actual Hunger vs. Head Hunger

I gorged myself yesterday. I should have gained weight. Here is what I ate yesterday:

·         Four “breakfast cookies” with dried blueberries in the batter (the almond thumbprint cookies from a previous post, but without the thumbprint or jam)
·         One grilled fish taco with cabbage and cilantro cream from Claim Jumper (a treat for getting a mammogram and ultrasound, including an “interior ultrasound” *ahem*)
·         Grilled zucchini and carrots
·         One smallish piece of Claim Jumper’s complimentary “cheese bread”
·         Boysenberry cheesecake ice cream (4 scoops) (regular, not SF) with room temp hot fudge and whipped cream
·         Second grilled fish taco from Claim Jumper
·         The rest of the cheese bread with Kerrygold butter
·         Two shrimp enchiladas from Rubios (my husband got take-out)

Instead of gaining weight as I expected, I lost four pounds. Go figure. I was starving all day long. I examined my hunger to see if it were genuine hunger or just psychological “head” hunger. I think it was mostly actual hunger due to the small breakfast (on the fly because I slept too late to make a breakfast at home), and then later with the ice cream was head hunger. After the ice cream was real hunger.

Today? I’m starving again today.  I had a late breakfast, more like a lunch, because I got involved in cleaning off my desk while drinking coffee (Look! A squirrel!), then a long, overdue phone call with a favorite relative who lives out of state. Finally, finally, about noon, I was able to eat some breakfast—spinach and cheddar quiche with bacon on top. An hour later, I followed that up with a bowl of my “protein Jello” with whipped cream (which is now out!! Panic!!) and my fourth cup of coffee (with HWC).

I am still hungry. There is some leftover tri-tip in the fridge from an outing last week. I’m considering grilling it up. I feel “hangry,” that overwhelming sense of “need food NOW!” Maybe my body is doing some work I’m not aware of and I should just answer the call?  Dunno.

I’m going to do what I do a lot nowadays:  Set a time limit. If, in 30 minutes, I still want the tri-tip, I will heat and eat it. If I do not, then I won’t.

This works well for me and helps me distinguish between actual and head hunger. I try to go two hours between snacks and/or meals, then I know it’s genuine hunger. Sometimes my mouth even waters thinking of food. It never did that when I was obese, probably because I was never really physically hungry. How could I be when I ate all day long? Or ate too much at one time that lasted all day long (bloat)?

My tummy just growled. LOL Something else it never did.

This is carb week—the time just before my period, and which should have come by now. Is it the “M word?”  I know for sure that I have two huge pimples on my chin. That’s where I always broke out as a teen and twenty-something. I haven’t broken out in years, so I’m guessing the hormones are in overload (ya think?).

I have not been craving carbs as I have in previous pre-menstrual weeks, although I have been very hangry. Maybe because I have, for the most part, been avoiding carbs.  Ice cream, however, is another thing. It gives me absolutely no problems. In fact, I’ve eaten a lot of ice cream lately. I tried the SF version (diarrhea from sugar alcohols) and the ½ the fat (which is less carbs than the SF), and which also gave diarrhea due to sugar alcohols. So I just pick up the regular ice cream now and I have no problems. I know, it’s weird and not fair. I'm very lucky in so many ways.

To be honest, the only food that bothers me, and has from day one (post surgery) is onions. Any kind, green, yellow, red, white—I haven’t tried shallots—they bloat me up with a lot of gas and pain and then horrible constant diarrhea. I’m pretty sure that’s what put me in the hospital with SVT May 1, 2014. I had ordered a sandwich from Panera, took off the bread and lettuce, but had the turkey slice, roast beef slice, salami slice, provolone, and the red onion. That is the last time I intentionally ate onion.

Grilled onions gave me horrible gas pre-surgery, but I would occasionally eat them because I liked them. I still like onions—grilled or raw—but eating them is a prescription for pain. No thanks. My husband likes it because he hates onions, always has. His (recently late) father, hated them, too.

Nothing bothers me but that. Chicken: fine. Milk: fine. Chocolate: Fine. Steak: Fine. Sugar and flour:  Not fine—gas, bloating, shits. So I do limit that along with rice and potatoes although I do enjoy a few fries of baked laden with butter and sour cream or a sweet potato from time to time. Usually out, not at home. I don’t make that at home.

No nausea, no vomiting (unless I really overeat. That’s only happened 3 times in a year, two of them early out when I was till learning.)

So that’s where I am. And I’m happy with it.

I saw my surgeon last week and he said I’m doing great. He said he expected my weight to settle about 170-175 and then bounce up a bit. That’s a revision from 150-175 he stated in November. I still have a lot of lower belly fat and a giant pregnant-looking hernia. I am going to wait for better insurance (not an HMO) down the road and after my second year of post-WLS/DS before pursuing a repair and possible panni removal. It’s uncomfortable if I’m too full, but it’s manageable, for now, although it sticks out farther than my boobs and I find that weird. Whatev.


It's coming up on 3 o'clock pm, PST, and I am HUNGRY. My stomach is growling. Hello Mr. Tri-tip, lover. :-)


Follow up:  I made more "almond jam thumbprint cookies" with the following changes:

  • 1/4 cup of dried blueberries into batter
  • zest of one whole lemon (I use a microplane)
  • No thumbprint
  • No jam
  • I did smash them flat with the bottom of a glass after rolling them into balls
  • Cooked 17 minutes (my oven is off. Even at 350 vs recommended 325, they weren't done. YMMV)

Result? Delicious, tender, slightly chewy lemon-blueberry breakfast biscuits. Delicious and low carb/high protein friendly.

It made 16 moderate sized cookies. I eat four for breakfast with coffee. Bon Appetit!

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