I tried on some capris in a size I haven't worn since I was in my 30s. Maybe even my 20s. Initially, when I put one leg in I thought, "Nah, these are not going to fit." But then I realized I'd been wrong about a number of things lately, and thought I should just "go for it." I put the other leg in, pulled them up, and they went over my ass and fit perfectly. I could even bend and sit in them. So I bought them. (They were on sale.)
I was also going to get some undies, down three sizes!! but I thought the price they wanted was too high, so I'll go to Target this weekend.
I knew I was going to lose weight and "melt away" as the surgeon said, but the reality is much different than what my expectations were.
My number 1 and 2 goals were:
1. Kick diabetes to the curb.
2. Have more energy.
Both of these things have occurred. I would be happy right there. But to not have a giant, heavy body that is difficult to move in (my poor knees, although granted I've fallen on the left one repeatedly over the years, poor thing), and to have angles in my face, my native American great grandmother's cheekbones peeking out, my collarbones! My g*d, I can see and feel my collarbones. It's amazing. This I did not think about too much. I really did not. But I am enjoying the hell out of it.
So my belly wound had quit leaking about 90%, although I was still using a pad to catch the small amount of fluid that was coming out. The center of the wound had healed fine, but the top and bottom had snail-like looking things poking out of them that felt like Jell-O.
Evidently the doc didn't like the look of that and tried to insert a rubber drain in the bottom "hole." It wouldn't go in. It was closed. Same with the top "hole."
He then told me, "I could take you into surgery, put you under general anesthesia, open you back up, re-sew everything, and you'd be good. Or I can take care of it right now with silver nitrate, which will burn."
"Let's do it" I said.
So he laid me back on his exam table, my pants and undies pushed down, put the leg rest up, and R held my hand, as the doc dripped the silver nitrate over first the bottom hole and then the top. It burned new openings in the would/drain, and it's been draining the same smelly pink crap that it did right after surgery. A LOT of it.
It hurt. It hurt a lot. I can't even think of something that would compare to it. R said I squeezed his hand so hard that I hurt him and almost bent his wedding ring. LOL
It was awful. But over in five minutes with no residual pain. *whew*
He said I'm doing great, my weight loss is progressing at his expected rate, and that I looked good. I then told him that I had gotten off all Crystal light, sweet n' low, Splenda and other products, and had moved to Stevia for iced tea, or just water, and upped my protein shakes to 100 g per day. That made him happy. We had a long chat and we both enjoyed talking to him. He's a funny, no BS kind of guy. The perfect surgeon for me.
Today, after the draining had ensued, I was down another pound from yesterday. I think the non-draining wound has slowed down my weight loss. That and all the experimenting with liquid, protein, and food cravings I was doing. It's better now, too.
So here is how the weight totals play out:
- From my highest weight (which will not be named), in January 2011, I've lost 77 pounds (which includes a 4-month stint on weight watchers that I kept off for three years).
- From two days before surgery I've lost 43 pounds.
- From surgery day, (I lost 4 pounds doing the pre-op clear liquids and bowel prep), I've lost 39 pounds.
I hate to jinx myself, but in addition, I also feel great. I want to get up. I want to move. I want to walk. I'm cleared to lift weights. After we move to SoCal in three weeks, I'd like to join a gym. There's one within two blocks of where we'll be staying. I could walk there.
This experience has been scary, painful, difficult and, dare I say it? Amazing.
I'm a whole new person.
That I didn't expect.
But I'm grateful. So very grateful.
Here's a picture taken today at my doctor's office (my eye doctor), and
Those are the new pants. I've wanted a pair of