Different Path

Went to therapy today. Man, it's like a booster shot of sunshine, I swear. I look forward to it and I always feel better after.

I asked him what the psychological profession had to say about whether overeating was a food addiction or emotional eating, and he said there's no definitive diagnosis one way or the other. But...he felt that if you had behaviors in regard to something that you cannot control, whether that's drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, etc., then it has all the hallmarks of an addiction in his opinion. I tend to agree.

So this morning as I was earing my breakfast--two eggs, cheese on top, 1/4 smoke sausage, grilled and re-warmed in the nuker, coffee w/HWC--I thought I should write down what I'm feeling when I eat, what I eat, and how hungry I am. Sometimes I eat when I'm not hungry because I know I need to protein/fat for fuel. I forget to eat, a lot. More than I ever would've thought possible pre-surg.

I have a notebook at home already I can use for this. I figure I'm going to have a hunger level between one and ten; the date; what I'm eating; what I'm thinking while I eat; and if I binge eat. I need to figure out what my triggers are (aside from visual. I am very easily triggered visually.). The therapist thought this was a fine idea.

I'm going to start it as soon as I get home.

I went to therapy at noon--actually I was a little late because I just couldn't get going today, and he let me stay over because he had a haircut scheduled after me. What a nice man. He definitely got into the right profession. I'm usually early, to anything, I just hate being late, so I called him from the road and he was totally fine with it. *exhale*

So I've been at Starbucks about 90 minutes, having coffee and watching episode 1 of season 5 of Downton Abbey. It stuttered a lot, so it took over an hour to watch. I would watch episode 2, but I'm hungry. I still need to go to Target for cleaning supplies and then home where I plan to have a meal because I'm hungry!!  And then the journal.

Side note:  I'm wearing some size 18 pants I bought for $4.95 from Ross last October and which didn't fit two weeks ago. So my weight has fluctuated, but my actual body size is smaller. Huh. I'll be damned. Good thing--all my pants (both other pairs) are in the laundry. That's on the agenda tomorrow.