Trained?

The last few weeks have found me noticing, I mean really noticing my food choices. I'm noticing them because I am more conscious of the food choices I make, and I make the right choice more often and for the right reason.

"Oh look, blueberry scones. I love those. Yeah, but remember what happened last time you ate one? Uh huh. You can make these low or no carb at home, and they'll taste just as good if not better and be good for you. Just get the coffee."

And I move on, sconeless.

I had some donuts from a donut store during a super bad day a couple weeks ago. They didn't taste as good as I remember. In fact, they were kind of yucky. It's going to be a long, long time before I have a donut again. I'll reach for something else first if I need sweet--like chocolate. A little bit of that is fine, no repercussions or weight gain. Bam! Bob's you're uncle.

I think, after fifteen months, I might be trained to make good choices. I now have to with forethought and planning make bad choices. It's so much easier to just eat the stuff that is good for me and that I crave. I could eat a steak with bleu cheese every day. I'm serious. Cheese? Was always a favorite snack and is even more so now. Sharp cheddar. Oh yeah. Mama likes cheese. :-)

It's nice to be in this place, this less crazy, obsessive, unhealthy place. And the monthly carb cravings haven't reared their ugly heads in the last two months. I like that.

As far as eating, food, choices, and my body weight, I'm in a good place. I'm happy to be here. I hate all the loose skin, but I'd trade it all again to get rid of that fucker diabetes. Loose skin is gross, diabetes is deadly. Good trade.

***

Well, I didn't make it to the beach yesterday although we were in the "beach cities." We stopped at Starbucks for a respite, I was reading a good book (A Wilder Rose), and R was on his laptop. When I looked up it was 6:30 pm and way too cool to go to the beach with the clothes (i.e., swimsuit and sundress) I had brought with me. We had dinner while we waited for traffic to die down, then made our way home about 8:30. It was nice to get out of the house. Hopefully I'll have other opportunities for beachgoing in the future.

***
R went by social services today to give them a copy of his final paycheck, so they said we should hear something about our insurance options on Tuesday. *fingerscrossed*  Dear G*d, please let it be better than the shit HMO we had. Pleeeease.

Cheers